Key Features:
- Improved ability to delay gratification and manage frustration.
- Can use problem-solving strategies to regulate emotions.
- More influenced by peers, leading to social comparisons and emotional shifts.
Why This Age Group Is Unique. Between the ages of 8 and 12, children develop more complex emotional experiences. They begin to compare themselves to others, experience peer pressure, and face increasing academic demands. While they are more verbal and self-aware than younger children, they still need guidance when it comes to managing strong feelings like embarrassment, jealousy, or anxiety.
Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Management At this stage, children can begin to notice their emotions in the body. Parents can help by pointing out patterns: “I notice your stomach hurts when you’re nervous.” Helping children tune into their body’s signals builds the foundation for recognizing emotional states and taking action.
Parents can support this phase by:
- Model Healthy Expression: Let your child see you name your emotions and use coping tools. “I’m feeling stressed, so I’m going to take a short walk.”
- Problem-Solve Together: Instead of solving the problem for them, guide them to brainstorm options. This teaches independence and confidence. “I see you are feeling…,what can you do to feel better?
- Offer Predictability and Routine: Emotional regulation is easier when children know what to expect. Clear routines and transitions help reduce anxiety.This means setting rules and clear boundaries too about what is allowed and what it is not.
- Teach Coping Skills: Journaling, drawing, listening to music, or using breathing techniques are excellent outlets for managing emotion. This doesn’t mean trying to distract them from what they are experiencing but to help them understand there are things they can do to actively manage and feel better in the situation.
Encouraging Emotional Literacy.
Create regular moments to talk about emotions, such as during dinner or in the car.
Ask open-ended questions:
“What made you feel proud today?” or “Was there a moment that felt tough?”
The more comfortable children get talking about emotions, the more likely they are to reach out for support when they need it. If the questioning does not lead to an open conversation, you can start by talking about your feelings to get your child used to hearing adults speaking about it, to normalize the habit.
Children who learn to identify and regulate their emotions are better able to focus, build friendships, and recover from setbacks. These are foundational skills for both academic success and mental well-being. It also helps them to identify and respect other people’s emotional needs.
Back
